You’re Still You, Even With ADHD

Photo by stefan moertl on Unsplash

You recently got diagnosed with ADHD and you aren’t sure why you aren’t feeling better. Before the diagnosis, you watched videos on Instagram/TikTok and were excited to see so many areas of your life finally make sense. At diagnosis, you were eager to see where this new knowledge would take you. And then you did some reading about ADHD strengths and now you’re wondering if you’re just three ADHD symptoms in a trenchcoat. 

I get it, diagnosis can be disorienting and destabilizing. Take a deep breath though, you’re still the same person you were before the diagnosis. Everything that makes you, you is still there and still yours to own. The only differences are that now you have an explanation for why some things feel harder, and now you can begin to understand one more way in which you are unique -- your own ADHD. 

And yet I see a lot of people with this fear, that their ADHD somehow makes their strengths no longer strengths. If that’s you, hopefully this will help. 

First, know that the idea of “ADHD strengths” comes in part from a desire to redefine ADHD more positively. ADHD coaches, influencers, and people with ADHD have done great work popularizing the idea of neurodiversity, and that different does not mean bad. As coaches, we often see people who only know ADHD as a disorder full of negatives. Add in the ADHD tendency to ruminate and focus on negatives--and a lifetime of criticism from people who don’t understand it--and you have a great recipe for shame. 

To combat that shame and help you understand what’s possible, as coaches we try to help identify and build from your strengths -- so pretty much everyone who goes to an ADHD coach will or should come away knowing some of their strengths. And since coaches are human, we’ll probably end up over-focusing on “common” strengths for anyone. We may even give you a test like the VIA Character Strengths Survey or the Gallop StrengthsFinder. So far so good. Except, wait, VIA has a total of 24 strengths on it, while Gallop has 34. Whether or not you have adhd, if the pool is 24 you’re going to find many, many other people with the same strengths. 

Add on to this that most of these strengths are like horoscopes, in that many of them can sound like they fit for you. So if you see an influencer who’s learned their strengths or your friend tells you about their ADHD strengths, it’s likely you’ll find ways that they feel like they apply to you. This doesn’t mean you aren’t unique, it just means there’s a very limited menu of strengths that everyone is pulling from. 

Still, there are some areas where people with ADHD tend to be overrepresented compared to neurotypicals. There it’s important to remember that population numbers aren’t the same as individual numbers. ADHD presents differently in everyone -- there are no universals. If there was, testing for ADHD would be as easy as asking you if you’re good in a crisis, or funny, or a fast-talker. 

Yes, many people with ADHD do well in crises, but that doesn’t tell you anything about any individual person. There are also people with ADHD who panic under pressure. There are comedians and accountants with ADHD. There are fast and slow-talkers and everything in between. 

Similarly, there are also people without ADHD who have every “ADHD strength.” If the person without ADHD gets to view their creativity as part of their uniqueness, shouldn’t you? Again, there’s no strength that’s limited to ADHD or diagnostic of ADHD. 

As part of learning to manage your ADHD, you’ll learn to own your weaknesses and take responsibility for getting help/mitigating them. Don’t you want to own your strengths too?

If you want to learn more about your own unique brain, coaching can help -- click here to schedule a free consultation.